My outsides don't match my insides.

It has been rough since my announced descent into nothingness, but it hasn't been entirely empty. I try to "enjoy" the freedom of doing nothing at all and letting myself not feel guilty. I still feel bad about not being able to be MYSELF in this lifetime, but I have replaced creative time with napping and some people think that's good, I don't know?

At first! I've been throwing myself into the patreon sketchbook because I was originally unsatisfied with prioritizing honest sketching below the unrewarding youtube grind. I created some very interesting pages! I made one video, because it was something that interested me, and because I didn't have a deadline, I did find time to put just a little more effort into editing.

I would like to do another video soon, but it seems a bit tricky. I want to make a photo lapse of filling a little blank storybook, and I'd love for the photos to be on the plant table, so that maybe the plants will change throughout the video as well.

I'm not sure how to accomplish this without heavy strobing due to lighting changes. Therefore, I've been procrastinating on this thing that will take a long ass time to begin with. In the meantime, I keep pressing flowers into that book instead of painting it.

Whoops.

But then this week happened, and it was the worst I've felt in a long time. Maybe ever. No external reason (other than maybe some hurtful dreams). I struggle with the urge to throw everything away, and regular stuff that I once enjoyed, I've been avoiding.

Like, looking at realty listings! I loved looking into homes and fantasizing about moving there, having a garden space but most of all having an art studio. Whoops! I have no reason to have an art studio anymore!

Or window shopping in art supply stores for the fun of it, but whoops, I don't need art supplies anymore! Will I be around long enough to care for and enjoy a new plant for the balcony? The thrill is gone.

Bit by bit I'm inviting a little creative time, even though it's a real drag. I noticed that I haven't had to sweep under my desk for a few weeks, where there would usually be lots of paper bits. I have a lot of paintings to get rid of but I don't know how! Not even a 40% off sale could move them. I've made a couple of TEENY books constructed of random pieces. It's an offshoot of the found poetry book. Tiny books! Seems pointless to try to sell them, but I am tempted to leave them in those little sidewalk libraries. The world hates artists, but it loves free art.

Anyway, here's a picture of my cat in front of the fan. We've had a heatwave! I have a lot of random vlog clips, and I'm slowly coming around to maybe compiling them. I just don't know if making vlogs is narcissism? Should I be taking up so much digital space??

So maybe a DECADE ago, I decided I was going to be a watercolour artist. yup.
I put my art into galleries sometimes, I won a couple of awards, got a few things published. I dragged myself through the agonizing process of licensing, paying a lot of taxes, and furnishing this website.
I still had some friends at the time, encouraging.

At one point, the bill from the city just to keep a business license went up to $300/year, which doesn't sound like much except that I don't make a lot of money from art, guys.

I quit my full-time restaurant job, and moved to a part-time food service job, so that I could give myself more time to actually try harder. I acknowledge that I'm lucky to have this option in the first place. As you know, this plan didn't work out because I never had the power to call the shots.

Here's the thing.
The first thing anyone asks when I say I'm struggling to build an art career is "but do you enjoy it?"
What I "enjoyed" the most about art business, is having the hope that it would someday save me from meaningless labour. The standard environment is bad for me, and I don't fit in socially anywhere.

I liked turning my art into a career. Really! I could never understand folks who say "I could never do art for a living because it would feel too much like work."

I LOVED when my art felt like work.
It felt like meaningful, soulful and fulfilling work. Even if it was an unpainted structural commission that had nothing to do with my art or even art of any kind. Loved it.

All I really needed was the equivalent of a minimum wage part time job, it wasn't that unreasonable of a goal.

I could go on about all the work I did, not just artwork, but social media and gallery fees and arguing about work schedules and feeling angry, and unattended craft fairs, and art shows where no one came, and other art shows where they didn't bother to hang my work at the last minute, complete social and familial isolation, and so on , but nah.

There are 3 categories of artist: emerging, mid-career, and established. I was emerging for a while, and at some point I missed the transition into mid-career and fell into a void. I don't fit into this community, local nor industrial, socially nor professionally, and so I bow out.
I give in.
I relent.
I yield.
I got the cosmic message.

"So what now? Why don't you just do it as a hobby?"

I mean... I might? There is a grieving process I'm sure. It was the sole source of personal hope, and it's hard to do anything knowing I have to keep being this sad version of me forever, instead of for just a while longer until I'm finally happy.

Since relenting, I've been less angry day-to-day, less rushed, way more generally apathetic. It's also been really bad, but I'll take what I can get. I haven't painted or edited videos for a couple of weeks. I HAVE been forcing myself to do at least one small patreon sketch, because I wouldn't mind going back to the carefree sketchbook life for a while. I've been playing minecraft with John in the evenings which is kind of embarrassing to admit I guess. Maybe it's good for us.

So I'm keeping patreon for now... which could really benefit from my full attention from this point on. There are a couple of youtube videos I wanted to do, but I never have the time alone required to film them so I'm not certain.
My vlogs were meant to be "behind the scenes" vlogs, but the "scene" is over, so I am uncertain about those too.
I'll keep the etsy shop open anyway while it still pays for itself.

I will miss the few regular comments, and the very few people who visited me on Twitch back when I had time for that sort of thing. I'll miss the commissions I used to get. I'll miss the naive hope.

Ironically, I might end up getting better at drawing.

I think Duo has given up on me.

There comes a time in the creative life where you build up up up and when you get over something, and then you crash. If you're lucky, the apex was wonderful and worth the trouble, but a lot of the time it's not. That probably affects the length of the crash.

And some people are long-term thinkers who go evenhanded and steady and always have a good momentum. That's not really me. So I'm having a resting period. I drained my creative well and let the fires burn out, so now I have to build them back up again.

Assuming I find a good reason to do this.

My current favourite recreational activity is to take advantage of my living in a well-toured city. It's a lot of green hell, but if people are willing to spend so much to travel here, there must be something here to see right? Last weekend, we stepped out onto this cliffwalk, a narrow structure of boards and wires that jut out into a steep valley. As local residents, our ticket came with a free annual pass so I can come back and face mortality whenever I please. At this point, I discovered how spoiled I am that I could feel so bored with this green forest. Such that it would take a tame owl or a wobbly bridge to make me consider going a 2nd time, even for free.

Yesterday, I met with a friend so we could wander through vancouver just to take in some sights on such a summery day. It's nice to do adventure day with someone other than my usual partner, if only to talk with a different perspective. Someone who appreciates similar things, who is also willing to put up with me stopping every few minutes to touch a leaf or pick a tiny flower.

But we are also art friends who were born in the same season, so this week we've exchanged surprise art supply boxes, to challenge each other to try something new. So look forward to that on Youtube, if you want to see what we got each other :3

And if you're NOT part of the youtube gang, or twitter gang, I want to make sure you know that I'm having a huge May sale on etsy to clear out a bunch of lovely things!

Several paintings have been adopted this week, and it seems you guys have similar tastes to mine! I would go fast, if I were you.

Ahhhh after many many 6-hour sleeps, I was determined to sleep in this morning and got in a 10 hour sleep (with only one awakening). They say that inadequate sleep contributes to depression, and I have to say, I don't feel any different at all after this sleep. Back to the grind tomorrow!

The craft fair was okay, but totally dead. How can it be both? I didn't do much worse than I usually do, which is why I don't do this often. But it's surprising, because as far as visitors go, I was relatively unvisited.

Which is a shame, because this is the wildest display I've ever concocted. It's quite a (temporary) boost, to see all of your work accumulate in one place and dressed up special. I also love the small conversations I had with strangers, and the phenomenon where being trapped in a room with other sellers causes us to be temporary best buddies for 8 hours.

I don't feel connected anywhere else in the world like I do behind a craft booth. Too bad it's so financially unsustainable.

As a result, I have quite the surplus of STUFF left over. I worked very hard for this day, and I sold just about nothing. As much as I love these faux taxidermy butterflies, and will put them on my own wall, I am posting them in the shop for sale. I had to customize the frames myself, to turn them into tiny shadowboxes.

Not to mention a huge pile of cardstock sketchbooks. I still have a lot of holographic prints and cards as well. I still don't know what to do with the buttons, because shipping is just too expensive. Suggestions?

So, if you've been watching my vlogs on youtube, you are probably aware that I have been preparing for a small local craft fair. It's happening on the 27th, and I think I'm pretty well set up now. Just a few things left on the list! This weekend I've mostly finalized my pegboard display - which was a slice of pegboard, framed with some thin lengths of wood for support (pegboard is kinda bendy otherwise).

This is not high tech. Here's a closeup of the ugly feet. They are random pieces of 1x4", fastened to the board using wall brackets. Strength is a high priority for me on this, so I'm giving it as much foot as it wants. The back of the feet will be held to the table with a large vice grip, just in case. I'm hoping to place another board of some kind over the front feet in order to a) hide them and b) regain a level tier to place baskets in front.

Here it is, disassembled, painted and leaning in my rough attempt to fit everything together. This is such an important step because most places only give you an hour or so to set up. There's no time to regroup when something doesn't work, or you had more stock than you thought, or a display piece needs repair/customization. I discovered that I have too many handmade books.

The hardest part is hanging art on this board. Gallery walls are NOT a strength of mine! And this small panel is so limited. I think the old hoops would be well suited for a casual craft fair, but I have so many paintings that I love dearly that would look good on this wall and I can only bring a few of them. How do you decide?

Pegboard hooks didn't work in this instance so I had to get clever. For the lightweight items, I used short pieces of wooden dowels that fit through the holes. This will work very well and I can move them around easily.

The glass framed paintings though? Terrifying. I worried that they would just slip off and crash. Instead of dowels, I used some old bolts. The head of the bolt will keep the frames' wire from slipping off. There are locking nuts on the back just in case the bolt itself wants to slip out. The tension and the length of the bolt makes it seem unlikely, but better to be safe about it. It's holding well and looking kind of nice!

Details about the event:

Crafty Affaire Spring Market
Saturday April 27th 2019
10am - 5pm
Ocean Park Community Hall
1577 128 street, Surrey BC

Come check it out!

In my neighbourhood, April is poetry month. that means I should really be ramping up production in my found poetry journal I guess. I'm getting close to feeling "prepared" for Crafty Affaire, so maybe I will have time soon. Of course, it also begins another fresh month of Sketching Club... The theme for April is Fungus Among Us! It's a mushroom theme.

Above is a sneak peek at what I sent the chrysalis tier in the mail. An original sketch is guaranteed, but I also like to add random scraps of things I've been working on recently. Or anything lightweight that looks interesting.

I spent an awful lot of time building sketchbooks out of a big pack of coloured cardstock. Rainbow journals!

I'm also putting together a few pretty framed faux butterflies...

Before the craft fair though, this weekend is the artist reception for Just Gates, a gate themed juried exhibition in Surrey. Come check it out! I will be there, and usually there are brownies.

Just Gates Artist Reception
Saturday, April 13 2019
Newton Cultural Centre (72 ave at King George)

This week I had an extra day off (YUSSSSSS!) in which I began the process of a million different things I wanted to do, yet didn't finish them. Except I made pins of all the polymer clay I had left, I finished the 54 cards for the swap late last night, and I folded 200 sheets of cardstock in a rainbow of colours which are now sitting on my desk teasing me with their beauty. Journals are coming.

March 25: How it's made

There are very few things I do these days that aren't accompanied by video footage. Don't forget that I have a youtube channel where you can watch my experiments and playtime come to life!

March 26: Self Care

My first instinct is to consider food - I seem wired to be food-centric and few things strike me with such intensity as the MIGHTY NEED for a java chip frap on a summer's day. HOWEVER, I have to concede that gardens are my self care. I take such joy in watching a thing grow right in front of my eyes. I'm kind of lousy at it, so in the winter/late summer I have to search out other gardens to find my peace. It's almost bug season! :D

March 27: Anything goes

Here's a sneak peek of next week's ATC video. They're not extravagant, but there's 54 of them! :O A few different styles. Above is a small batch set. It's usually better to cover a large piece at one time, and then chop it up into card size later.

March 28: Packaged

I don't really "package" things in the sense that this prompt was intended. For these individual trading cards that we're giving away at the Crafty Affaire, I'm using these super thick card holders, of which I accidentally got TOO MANY. But that's because they are being put into swag bags. For online orders, I will use bubble mailers or photo mailers, and there is usually a thin layer of plastic for protection from rain, plus a postcard with a little note on it. Maybe some random stickers thrown in if you're a repeat visitor. MAYBE I will wrap something in tissue paper if I think there is no harm to it. Otherwise, I'm pretty plain jane. Even recycling doesn't fend off consumption-related guilt.

March 29: Most Difficult Make

I think anytime I wander out of the comfort zone of watercolour paintings, I run into frustrating snags. Luckily, I am fairly successful with most hands-on projects right away. Nonetheless, I have difficulty accepting limitations, such as, making zines but with a really lousy printer. Trying to work around streaks and paper jams. I made a bunch of pins which went fairly well right up until the part where I wanted them to be water-resistant. Suddenly, it becomes impossible to achieve my vision and I have to compromise. The line between Beautiful and Functional is a big, fat paint stroke and it makes me feel helpless and out of control sometimes.

March 30: Support

Here's a shoutout to the people who so regularly pop into my comment feed with their own personal life stories! I may not be able to remember ALL the tiny details, but I love hearing about real people.

Shoutout to the few people I've met on Twitch and have since all but abandoned (lol)! This work schedule has been harder on me, and I feel bad about not streaming when I get the chance. We somehow always end up talking about anime.

Shoutout to the sketching club of course! Ayla, Claudia, Brenda, Karen, Katy, Livia, Lorna, Mariah, Sena, Valerie, Tarin, and everyone past and future - you've probably had the biggest impact on not just my productivity but also my willingness to adventure.

Shoutout to my closest friends! Real life is relatively lonely, but it's nice to have a few people around who just Get You, accept the flaws, even if we see each other nearly never lol. In particular, having a real life art friend is next level and I can't wait until the next couple of Art Weekends coming right up!

March 31: Product in use/wild

Selling my own art is pretty cool but doing pet illustrations? What a WILD EXPERIENCE.

Goodbye smarch of 2019, you were unusually good to us with this incredible spring weather.

This week I've been staying up too late trying to finish the Milo zine, although I'm not sure if it was time well spent. My list of things to do is acres long.

March 18: Mistake/Lesson

I'm a very risk-adverse person generally, so really, putting my artwork out there full blast is the riskiest thing I think I've done. In 2010, I opened an etsy shop to sell my artwork, but I was woefully unprepared for it. Like most people, I discovered later that I needed to be licensed to do this legally, and so I had to shut down. 

It was a devastating and embarrassing moment, and yes, I did have a lot of people who told me that I was either too small to worry, or to be noticed and caught, so just go with it! It's so easy to find the answers you want, and tempting too. Instead of quitting (or circumventing bylaws), I struggled through the process of getting myself registered and licensed, and it kind of sucked. I still don't make enough income to justify that cost, but it was a mistake I needed to fix. And I'm lucky that I didn't learn that lesson after a $10,000 fine, either.

March 19: Dream Collaboration

I don't have anything specific (I have no sense of future, remember?), but I guess I get excited about being part of something outside of myself. I could see myself as a storybook illustrator, which sounds like an intense collaboration to me. It's the finished product that is so rewarding. Unfortunately, I have no idea how this process officially works, but I'm pretty sure it has nothing to do with meeting writers and drawing pictures for them, as one would imagine (and is what happened here). It is a mystery.

March 20: Design process

Consider this a huge flaw in my work, as my design process is pretty underdeveloped. I don't live in a place that has advanced art classes in school that stress the importance of planning and developing. It's not something I've been exposed to. I admire it though. The time artists take to collect ALL ideas, to research them, to flesh them out into sketchbooks, to make many copies in many colour schemes and from many angles until everything is finally carefully laid out onto a canvas. I'm more fly by the seat of my pants. I'm more get this down before I forget. I've started doing sketchy thumbnails, and SOMETIMES, I will practice drawing a thing in different poses first. But I have a short attention span I guess, and I lose interest too quickly.

March 21: Throwback

Awww yeah here's a totally randomized throwback to a collection of ATCs I made for a large 52-piece trading card swap. It feels like yesterday! I thought this was appropriate because I'm doing it again! 54 artist trading cards, due to the USA by the end of next month. I know a lot of you don't think it's worth it in the end, but I am a SUCKER for surprise mail. Wouldn't you want 54 tiny pieces of art in your mailbox? Yeah you would.

March 22: Proud of
Yeah, I dunno. I got nothing.

March 23: Top Tip or Advice

Yo, listen up. I'm 33 years old and have little to show for it, so don't take my advice. My biggest soapbox was always the determination to Have It All. To Play it Safe. To have a paycheque from the day job and the satisfaction of making art overnight. You can be financially secure AND creative! After all, that's how big youtubers got to stay home and practice their craft - they did both until the creative work paid off. What I've learned? Creative work doesn't always pay off. The day job goes from "just a paycheque", to "time stealer". It's so much harder to appreciate a day job when you straight up Resent it with a capital R.
On the other hand, I really do get to be financially secure AND creative, so maybe it's not the worst piece of advice out there.

March 24: Customers/feedback

I know this spot was meant to showcase actual customer testimony, and I have no shortage of incredibly sweet messages that give me way too much credit (thank you so much!). Check them out if you're interested.
I want to take this random opportunity to highlight a message someone out there wrote to me back in the day. Probably back when I was posting stuff on Deviantart, before selling a single piece of art. I don't remember who it was, or the context. But it's such a generous thing, this thoughtful message of encouragement, that I had printed it out onto copy paper and tucked it away into a folder or a book to randomly stumble upon from time to time. I hope by reposting this, someone might pull a little inspiration or strength from it like I once did.

I can't say that I'm any more innovative about earth care than putting paper scraps into a recycling bin and pretending that it all doesn't just go into a different kind of landfill. But coincidentally, I had an opportunity to take my small pile of misprints and reuse them for a fat stack of ACEO to give away as swag at Crafty Affaire.

March 12: Hands at work

I really love how these cards turned out, so keep an eye out for the video on my youtube channel. If you want a chance to receive one of these cards for free at random, come check out the Crafty Affaire event in South Surrey next month. The first 25 people in the door get a free swag bag and one of these cards will be inside!

March 13: Photography

I like to give the existence of the patreon group a lot of credit for keeping me productive, even if I'm not always able to give 100% to every sketch. I would LOVE to take a vacation with my sketchbook, for instance. I would get so much down if I didn't have so much arm pain from work every day.
But other than drawing, patreon has gotten me into taking SO MANY photos that I would otherwise not. I'm building a huge database of reference photos that I can use in my art. When will I need a photo of a bee, or a fuzzy flower, or a weird duck? Maybe not today, but someday. You just have to start.

March 14: How I learnt

Oh, now it's getting into origin stories. "learning art" is so divisive and I've mostly been against the notion of being "self-taught". It's very dismissive of people who have helped you along the way.
That said, I consider myself to be a fast learner. I am a curious sort. Before Internet, the most I learned about art was in high school, even though it was the same class every year with the same teacher and the same assignments (hey, it wasn't a rich school). I have to give credit to high school teachers for giving me fundamental skills.
College was a bust - not much to gain there. Not sure how anyone can be snobby about art school to be honest.
Post Internet, the 2nd most I've ever learned about art was from you, artists abroad. See art, ask questions, find answers easily. I've tried so many new techniques from youtube that you might as well be charging me for it. I wouldn't go all out and say I feel proud to be someone to whom and artist would search for answers, since most of my videos are "first tries". But! I hope in my small way I am alerting people to fun things that Exist, and will continue existing as long as there are people seeing them and saying "oh yeah, that looks fun, I want to try it!" 
Yes, try it.

March 15: Motivation/Goals

This is the hardest thing for me, as I've always held a certain blindness to my future. I'm always in the state of mind that today, or this month or this year is all that I have left to get through so planning is my weakest point. I see people who have the exact life I wish I could have, but they are different and good by nature and deserve to be there. The best I can do is to pretend to be someone else and hope it just magically happens someday. It's not a great strategy, but like I said, I could be gone tomorrow anyway.

March 16: Workspace!

Ooh, I'm a nester. Apart from being a youtuber artist living off my art, plus having friends, plus doing whatever whenever I want, I also imagine myself in a perfect modest home with an in-home art studio, and a TOTAL HERMIT. I would go out every day to exercise and watch bugs, sure, but otherwise I would never leave. I would have space to properly display all my favourite media at arm's reach and in sight (not out of mind). Because also I prefer tidiness and the only way to keep a workspace tidy is to have a home for everything that doesn't involve opening/stacking boxes. I'm always in some minor battle between my paintbrush jar and water jar because they are both exactly in mine and each others' way and you wouldn't think something like that would be disastrous, but it is because I'm in the constant state of stressful "ticking-clock" impatience. I don't have time for your shit, Ink Bottles That Keep Falling Over.

March 17: What I'm working on

I've been committing more time than I probably should on this sudden zine I wanted to do, which is pretty much just recreating Milo's facebook group onto paper using this incredible deep-red lineart with dusty rose marker combination. I want it to be ready for Crafty Affaire, because I've wanted to make zines for YEARS now but never had a solid idea.

I hope it prints okay!

This month on the blog I wanted to take advantage of an instagram trend: #marchmeetthemaker where artists post on the theme of self reflection and sharing. Instagram is too clunky for me to use every day so I'm gathering what I would have posted here!

March 4: Tools & Materials

Yesterday, I was outlining this cat drawing (I'm thinking of making a zine for Milo) with this Copic multiliner. And while I was online shopping around for an art supply swap (!!) I'm doing soon, I realized that this pen, which I think came in some sort of mystery box, somehow costs sixteen dollars.
Maybe it was from a very expensive Inktober box and I just repressed it, but this pen has been sitting off on the shelf, only occasionally used because I have a varied selection of random black pens and this one is a bit less comfortable than most.
I wouldn't have spent sixteen bucks on a pen, had I the choice, and certainly not to just pass over it again and again. BUT! Apparently it's because you can buy new nibs for it after it wears down, and refill it after it empties, so it's meant to be a lifelong friend. Oh, well hello friend.

March 5: Detail

Here it is, a detail. I love these photos more than the full-art photos. They're the only ones that actually capture what I love about what I make, and why seeing art in person is such a different experience than seeing it on a screen or in a.... well, photo. I really hope you take the opportunity to see it if you get the chance and here is one coming up:

March 6: Full or Part-time?

I am yearning for spring, my favourite season! Ahhh to be able to open a window, watch my plants grow and my cat napping on the balcony again. Also, I'm doing the first craft fair I haven't done for a long while! Please come check it out! I believe entry is by donation, and my last experience with this particular show was super rad.
You know the topic of full/part-time is such a contentious one for me, because it's something that comes with the illusion of having no control. Someone else makes my schedule and that makes me crazy. I would love to be full-time and free, but I know that I don't have the powerful social skills that make up at least 80% of what it takes to run a business, I swear. Otherwise, I would have made it by now. Which brings me to:

March 7: Less Glam Side

Being human kind of feels like sharing one body with two people: one small voice in my head is rational and chill, but is overpowered by the other half that just panics and flails 24/7 and somehow managed to lock itself in the control room since 1990 while the rational half shouts muffled instructions under the crack in the door with little effect.

I lost my point... Oh right. I know that my life is pretty easy and good. I do pretty well at whatever my day job is at the time, I live in a visually interesting city, I eat a lot of food, I make a bunch of art. It will probably never be enough, even if I was able to make a living doing what I'm meant to. It doesn't sound like a lot to ask in a philosophical way, but also in a privileged first world kind of way. It's hard to ignore the numbers in a world that only values numbers. I am ungrateful.

Moreover, editing sucks. Yet I wish I could have all day, every day to do it. People are weird.

March 8: Product Range

BUT WHAT ARE YOU TAKING TO THE SHOOOWWWW?
Omg it's been so long! I have too many things! I have too many paintings to rehome. I have tiny versions that are very very inexpensive. I've been making a few copies of zine-like things, and I've got a Milo-themed one ready to draw up. I am JUST ordering some HOLOGRAPHIC stuff from Catprint which is the most exciting thing I could think of but might be too out-there for a South Surrey crowd, I dunno. I'm still making sketchbooks even though I can't source the kind of paper I prefer. I'll be bringing the handmade clay pins. It's going to be so dazzling, you'll have to wear shades. Seriously, 8x10 HOLOGRAPHIC prints.

March 9: Story behind name

I chose "yellowmelle" for silly reasons I guess. Business names are often hard to choose and are uninspired. "Melle" is how my friend would address me when we were younger and I didn't really consider how many people would say it like "melly", which is weird to me because so few english words that end with E are pronounced that way??? Heh. So I do regret choosing this name and I usually don't make banners with it or anything. I should have just been myself. I blame etsy for thinking I required a name in the first place XD

And yellow is just my official answer to favourite colour.

March 10: You

Listen, I don't take pictures of myself, no one takes pictures of me, and I'm just a disembodied voice in my videos, so take this super dang old photo of me from several years ago because I don't ever change that much anyway. Switch my glasses, add a few inches to my hair and photoshop in a couple of zits (probably) and bam! Brand new me.
Also, please don't.

And come to the craft fair in april so we can have an awkward social experience together.