And then I forget to update the blog for a bit. I guess it gets a bit old just posting youtube videos onto the blog. I assume you must want more than that. With the weekly vlog happening, I guess I feel like I'm expressing myself enough as it is. I suppose, I can share something that I will probably forget by the time my next moment alone with come around. I can tell you about a dream.
Oh gross, a dream. It's true, what people say that dreams are one of the most boring things a person could talk about. It's hard to relate to something that only makes sense to the dreamer (temporarily), and isn't very interesting because it isn't even true.
Regardless: in this dream I was at a party of strangers (see? me at a party? not a thing.), and this woman runs up to me in excitement. She had spotted me and told everyone at the party that I was the artist she'd met at some convention and was showing people some prints of some fanart she'd purchased from me. I had to tell her that the artwork wasn't done by me, that signature was not my name, and that I'd never been at a convention!
The disappointment washed over her face and she backed away, embarrassed to admit to everyone that I was nothing special. I was just a regular nobody. I felt bad about disappointing her, and I felt like a giant loser. And this really encapsulates how I feel on a regular basis.
See, I figured this dream is one to which most people can relate.
Dreams are also just visual representations of things we think and feel that day, and I know it just came about because I watch a lot of youtube videos and one was about what makes someone a "professional" artist.
See, I don't imagine myself to be a professional artist. I've sold a good number of things and I've had my name in the local gallery. As long as I'm earning even a single dollar of profit, my city government treats me as a professional and charges me a good chunk of fees for that dollar. But it doesn't feel professional. I don't have enough creative work to do. Most of my energy goes into my day job, because they effectively own me. They make my schedule. Their minimum wage keeps me alive.
If survival is what makes a professional, then I'm nobody. But if you want to consume someone's work for practically nothing, be sure to subscribe to my channel! I have a Found Poetry journal layout popping up tomorrow, and a casual weekly vlog going up on Tuesdays. You want to see more of my personality? My cats? My terrible time management? I actually quite enjoy compiling the vlogs. I don't post them anywhere, so you'd have to subscribe on youtube for those. And you would also be fully updated on the process videos in case I do this thing again where I forget to blog about them. Because do people watch videos on blogs? Do people still read blogs?
Hello! I'm Melissa, and here you'll find some behind-the-scenes footage of an artful life. Won't you join me?